Saying that if you have good communication with her and can get a sense of her values maybe it can be worked out, I understand what you're trying to say, I think. deep. NO! Supportive. If she's interested, there's clearly no problems from her end. If she is everything you would want a woman to be and currently shares your same values. A woman who has slept with 100 meninevitablyhas certain qualities of character, and inevitably has certain boundary issues, and inevitably has lower standards when it comes to who she allows access to her body. Maybe teach you to stop overthinking trivial things like her sexual history and maybe help you learn to enjoy being in the moment? Thank you, Lord, for what you have done that we couldnt do for ourselves. Good, glad to know my position is clear. I apologize if it seems I am implying that women who enjoy and have had many sex partners are simply victims of abuse. We have been together for almost a year now. I am faced with a decision as to whether or not stay with my current girlfriend, because in all honesty I only wish to be her friend after finding out her past. When done, breath deeply,. spoken likea girl who has slept with a lot men. Hey Mike. Yes, there is certainly a price I am paying: not seriously dating sluts. Stephan, I am intrigued by your comment that you disagree that promiscuity is what has caused the highest divorce rate America has ever seen. There is a current trend not only in the U.S., but also in the UK called the marriage strike.A lot of men will not marry because of fear of divorce initiated by women who are unable to stay connected emotionally to their husbands (due to a high number of sexual partners) and therefore seek comfort else where. If you dont believe me look at the types of non-black females black celebs go for. But I notice that its mostly inexperienced and insecure men who seem to be the most concerned about it. Usually some sort of collection of all of the good qualities between all of their partners with none of the bad. Who has moved forward and disregarded her past. See, I can understand a man deciding not to be with that woman because their views and values dont line up. I dont think anyone is saying (Im not) that a persons number is the /only/ factor is deciding whether or not to take someone seriously as relationship material, but it is /a/ factor, and a major one, for many men. Or is it just society told you to have a problem with that? Correct me if I'm wrong:), You are concerned that the girl you like has slept with a lot of guys, maybe in excess and this really worries you. You dont know where to begin, because you have nothing to say, and deep down, you know Im right. However, many men, when looking for long term partners, will look to women who have shown they can control themselves and not get ridden like the town bike. Settle down with what she can. As simple as that, why be ashamed or beat yourself up over a number if numbers didnt define a hoe then her actions would. That should not deter you, if anything let it motivate you to just be better and become the best lover she has ever had. Now i am hurt. hint 3: even from the most selfish perspective, the women you degrade as "sluts" are fun. Of course it is fair to judge people on the decisions they have made in life. ), in some kind of limbo between trp and pua, not having result yet and feeling rather panicky, a girl comes along and you feel attached to her, you feel super duper extra insecure right now about a lot of things. Even research has provided proof that men do desire promiscuous women but only temporarily for sexual purposes. And I ask you, why ride the Datson if youre looking for the Benz? The person asking or the person who has the power to say yes or no ? As the article stated, STDs are not a product of high numbers, so somebody who has only been with 1 can have an STD while someone who has been with 80 could have no STDs at all. I completely understand where you are coming from Jeraldel and I assure you I will address these issues moving forward. Nothing special about a woman who has casual sex. Men should realize that a low number of partners I dont think society realizes how many women (and men) have been sexually abused. I wish the world was different where women could be free to live sexually without being labeled as sluts, used, emotional detached, etc. Means mentally you are stronger. I feel like my bf doesn't love me anymore and it scares me. And any woman lose this person, they are exactly what you were looking for and they actually He sais it in a pretty comical way too! In short 90% women fell under this category. think of the consequences of her actions. For rich or for poor.. Men getting around has never been acceptable behavior and never should be. And guess what, in case you hadnt noticed, men and women are different. Why do you like her? This is why abstinence is essential. When the male wants a woman with good morals and respects her body. Does my ex-gf and her bf want a thruple with me? Given that correlation I can understand why if a man knows thatshes got more points than Wilt Chamberlain, he chooses not to waste his time because chances are they wont see eye to eye. Finally, above all else RESPECT HER!!! Thats insane. And because women economically couldnt take care of themselves and would have been shunned by their communities, women were forced to stay in their marriage. Dont get me wrong, I understand that with higher numbers there is a higher chance of certain issues coming in to play that most men will not want to deal with. Its more like rape in nature than sex but the female does not sleep aroundstudy this if you must knowand God says so too! We have to be mature enough to accept people for who they are today in the same way in which we would want others to accept us. awesome line and I agree completely. We have had this conversation. cant hold it against the woman I love. As far as wrong or right, I will save that for another post. Sex isnt an act that comes with an inherent morality- the ethical implications of sex all depend on the context. It doesnt matter where Ive worked, or what my experience is, or how successful I have been at what Ive done. What a feminist wet dream Maybe it should not matter but it does. In other words quit pointing fingers at others when you know full-well that you are just as much a sinner! She is 20 years old and lost her virginity at 18 to the first relationship. Regardless what women think or how women seal most men would never accept or be comfortable with their mate havent slept with 30/100,000,000 in her lifetime. Nothing too crazy, but I live in a college town where people are coming and going for school and work and thus I've had fairly intense relatonships with people who have since relocated out of necessity. Think about if we applied such a infantile If u had slept with a hundred men would u have wanted anyone to judge u? If you are 30 and you had sex with 30 people, its hard to accept, Just like that song in the 70s that said, so many men so little time how can they Choose. I never disclosed about my past, however due to his inquisitive nature and the way he made me feel safe, I opened up to him and told him the truth. Everyone has different tastes. N yes i am over my ex, and thats why i can accept the truth and it doesnt hurt. As you have experienced it is the baggage, the fact that many people have not healed from their past before entering a new relationship. As one commenter posted, were all adults so I say do as you please. You can mutter no, no, no as long as you want, but that doesnt change evolution. You just got the best husband around! Enter your info below and join my VIP list. if you take responsibility for your actions and see that it hurts your lover Ive seen friends go through 4+ relationships in a year. Wants to claim equality between men and women, but cant handle criticism as well as a man, not as physically strong or tall as a man . If a woman has been with multiple men and ashamed to tell the current man in her life, in my opinion that makes her dishonest. I asked her to swear on her deceased grandfathers grave and on our relationship to tell the truth and she swore it was 11. Alex, who exactly is the owner of this superior mind that you speak of? I encourage you remain faithful as long as your in any relationship. Disappointed I decided to move on but I had to know what else she could be hiding. I can forgive myself and others for what they have done if the guy truly loves me and has things i always wanted. SMARTS are power, yet women are so blind.fuck them. By your logic, nothing matters, and we should all turn our brains off. Most often it takes more than two relationships to find your life partner. So I am simply saying view them for who they are now, not who they once were. What happens to the guy that took a chance on her got his emotions wrapped up in her only to have them stomped on? I really really really don't want it to leak out in the slightest and thus far have done a good job to not responding for the most part to the passing remarks we've had about her past. The emotional component I can build well in a live- in arrangement, before we finally settle down. And its not just about the numbers. . Me personally i do not sleep around and i am not going to lower my standards and try and act like a womans past has no bearing on her present let alone is not relevant. I have a 13-year-old daughter. If you Including that her family knows of this. Turns out he says he is still a virgin and is looking for a virgin wife. Must you attempt to state your position by insulting others who do not share your opinion. This is definitely a hot topic. Whether saying that a woman should have a low number of partners is out of sync with reality or not is irrelevant. If you cannot admit how many partners you have had or feel like nobody has the right to know, especially your potential HUSBAND, then you are a joke of a woman, a lie and a fake. If you find someone that loves you, supports you, and that you love and aregenuinely happy being around dont let the number of sexual partners that person has had force you to leave someone who was perfect for you. The willingness to speak truth and the bravery to acknowledge it is paramount. We have to be mature enough to accept people for who they are today in the same way in which we would want others to accept us. Im LOVING this.past partners MOST DEFINATELY have nothing to do with the present. Men have conqiustadorian aditudes about many things including women. I am a woman with a not so squeaky clean past but that was mostly due to my upbringing. Not saying its right for a man to walk away, but there are women who dont even tell the presumptive father of their pregnancy status. THIS IS REALITY. Are you worried that you're bad at sex and she'll know because she's had more experience? You feel a strong connection with her, and she does not display any emotional baggage or have any disease. The girl you date shows her cleavage all the time. Sorry, no thanks. I can go on for days about this. Or whether you have 3 kids by 3 different women. One of the men I sleep with wants to marry me and is very jealous. No, it should matter. For some reason, people think that its only THEM that are having sex and anyone else who does is disgusting. No, it can most certainly simply be about the actual number. You can continue with your exact same position that speaks against it, but there is a way for people to do that without it coming across so negative towards the other. Also remember that promiscuity at the end of the day has nothing to do with whether youll get an STD because all it takes is having sex with ONE person, who could be your significant other, that has an STD to transmit it to you. Sex is suppose to be something special between two people not the neighborhood. Think about this. In this latest study, women who have had one partner instead of two are about 5 percentage points happier in their marriages, about on a par, Wolfinger says, with the boost that possessing a four . The Virgin guy is one by choice. but that is just my opinion and I do love old fashion women, Id like to personally add my input as I am going through an exact situation with my current girlfriend. Regardless, as I stated before you are entitled to your opinion. Your going to get what you want, were going to see if you want what your going to get. You want to beat these entitled, feminist pigs guys? She has actually opened a dialogue with me about the fast girls. And she is ten times prettier with larger breasts and better complected, better hair, better teeth, more intelligent, etc His wife would feel intimidated and feel she can not compete especially if the other woman dumped him and he had been in love with her. it just kills me that women be the main one judging other women. Most guys dont want to do that either. I won't mind the number of partners if she is physically attracted to me. With a topic as sensitive as this misunderstanding will happen and I appreciate you taking the time to explain yourself. Guys in sports, entertainment and the military normally are cheaters. contraception. Understand her past and evaluate her for the woman she is today, not who she once was. I will talk about what I feel is best, when it comes to sex and being promiscuous versus waiting. Oh, you gave all your goods outwhen I didnt but I should be accepting of that? Being old-fashioned is not an excuse. The one that will massage your feet at the end of the day AND bake you fresh croissant! Dude dont date her you are judging her for her sexuality just leave the poor chick alone shes going to end up resenting you and feeling disgusted with herself because of your guilt trips and attempts to shame her for who she is. I would suggest understanding what trust, love, respect, communication, and support actually mean and how they function. choose the best possible man, or to be exact, provider. The commandment is that we shall not fornicate .male or female. It's a case of attraction. In addition, last time I checked, a woman is not a car to be driven. made and consequences stem from them. One would have to define perfect first. Not always, but often. I understand your position but I think you are not properly receiving the message of this article. I love reading your articles, please keep them coming. It honestly is a question of a womans character. And generally, its women that are exploited yet praised, used and then ridiculed for being sensual, sexual, whole human beings not the men. What is more important than the number is why. I continued to live. You and your cohorts. You say we shouldnt judge someone on their past? At least that is how I understand it and I agree. That's why I am so thankful that I have Jesus as my perso. Although this attitude is commendable, it is just not scientifically accurate. Imagine if a man had zero partners before marriage, was told that her past was with a couple and they were small and terrible in bed, only to find out later that was a lie. Love isnt about sex. Its about having standards that say, as a man, if Im going to marry and commit my life to someone, its going to be someone with the self-respect and characterto have not been a whore. well now endure the consecuences you will find people who doesnt care but you will also face that there are people who cares. Not everyone is like me but some people are and you never know who you will fall in love with in the future. Second, women are heavily criticized for having a lot of partners because they the ones making the final decision. Thoughtful. Sure, that is what many men (especially those who are getting up there) say. Self respect and value for yourself, if somebody wanted that lifestyle then why should they get to have somebody who didnt have that lifestyle. A guy friend of mine had to dump his first girlfriend in college because she kept pushing to get married and to settle down. Rest are the best women who should be given salute and Respect in the society and Life and they had earned the title to be called Wife and not a Slut (as Whore does sex for MONEY not Satisfaction or ENJOYMENT). Quite frankly, the word perfect enables the black community and all of our dysfunctions. bro be quiet how would you feel if your wife bumped into a ex and got all happy over it? you have issues so you didnt have problems with your wife introducing you to her exs and flirting with them..?? There are many more core issues at play then simply the woman having had a promiscuous past. Those refusing to acknowledge a persons sexual past are really the ones insecure about it, not those who ask. According to studies the chance of divorce strongly correlates Continue Reading Lawrence C. FinTech Enthusiast, Expert Investor, Finance at Masterworks Updated Thu And women who have slept with a lot of men are simply less likely to be deemed compatible as marriage-material. I said okwell its actually 40 something. about you. Best recognize! Africa, over 60,000 years ago and migrate to all parts of our planet, women had Why cant we they have their cake and eat it too? It is what it is, but the most important part is your STD FREE!!!!! upbringing etc. Gods commandment is.. Thou shalt not fornicate. If a woman has been with one man, but is still carrying baggage from that situation. As far as Im concerned, he is the only man I can get sexually aroused by. Compare apples to apples, Crazy Obsessed Man. Or control and/or reduce the rejection that women are going to receive ? Disagreeing is a part of life and I completely understand people will not always agree with my perspective. The image of women as conservative and prudish has been in place since patriarchal days and were created by the fathers and prospective mates. This doesnt mean women should go out and freely have sex with any and every person. Master Age: 48 , mho 32%. But she was still a really nice lady, and from what I hear pretty good at sex. woman who values herself. issue out, then you should get out. toss out the American System of justice including the very notion of Who has the power there ??? No. Perhaps you should actually, you know, read comments on the thread that you are responding to before making assumptions. And guess what, people arent always completely open and honest or even aware of who they really are when they are beginning to date someone. has slept with 4 guys or 20? The guys just choose to be promiscuous anyway because of false man-made teaching. Respect the choices shes made with her own body, respect the decisions that led her to where she is now. 3 of the men I was seeing wanted to marry me, but they are more jealous.