Her sister was killed at Oxford High. By Pamela Rosenthal. She didnt really know about any of those things. At home it felt like we tried every therapy: trauma-focused [cognitive behavioral therapy], play therapy, grief therapy, talk therapy, equine therapy, tapping, aromatherapy, MNR, and art and music therapy. In the years that followed, parents and survivors, some of whom are featured in the accounts below, have dedicated their lives to fighting for change. Support grief this way, but not that way. Nicole with Chloe, a survivor of the Uvalde shooting. Theres no training for navigating the. Real survivors share how their teenage years were impacted by the trauma of surviving a school shooting. She had 18. In 2018, when she was in eighth grade, she started to become involved in gun violence prevention. A college student who survived the deadly shooting that killed three students and critically wounded five others Monday night at Michigan State University also lived through the horrific Sandy Hook massacre over 10 years ago. We've been having these conversations, forcing folks to sit down and recognize how important this problem is and how preventable it is," Eastmond said. Quotes from the interviews were used throughout the 360 work. Watch their stories. My daughter has many years to decide what she wants to do with her life. "Kids shouldn't have to worry when they go to school," says Nicole, now 17 and a gun violence prevention advocate who spoke to PEOPLE ahead of the 10th anniversary of the Dec. 14, 2012 shooting. The school shooting survivors had come from all over the country, each of them hoping that this time would be different. Jackie Matthews survived the 2012 shooting at Sandy Hook and the MSU shooting Monday night. Two were killed. Howd the interviews go? Fuentes asked Touray, the two of them standing together in a gated VIP section next to the March for Our Lives stage, where Hogg was midway through his speech. SURVIVOR INTERVIEWS Each survivor was interviewed and discussed how their lives and their teenage dream changed after surviving a school shooting. Dec. 14, 2018, marks six years since the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, where 20 children between the ages of 6 and 7, as well as six adult staff members, were killed. Her latest film is "Us Kids," which follows Parkland survivors, including Sam Fuentes, as they recover from their injuries, process their grief and trauma, and try to prevent another school shooting. Gradually the mind kicks back in and then decisions and realities came one after another. "We kept saying, 'That was Daniel, Daniel was coming. And now it was nearly her turn. I continue to teach at another school in Newtown, trying to build a generation of empathetic problem solvers. Pressleys words left Touray feeling hopeful, even after a more somber meeting with Blumenthal, a Connecticut Democrat, who told the group that he wasnt sure whether the Senate would pass any new legislation, and if they did, it wouldnt include many of the items they wanted most. Fuentes has been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, panic disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder. I am 21 years old, and this is the second mass shooting that I have now lived through, Jackie Matthews said in an emotional TikTok video shared early Tuesday. The residents of an idyllic Connecticut town were reeling in horror from the massacre of 20 small children and six adults in one of the worst school shootings in US history. Another thing Masi encourages all teachers, parents and adults to do this school year as it begins for many students is to know the warning signs that people or students can exhibit before an act of violence is carried out. It needs to be legislation, it needs to be action. Im grateful to those who listen. A few minutes later, a man with a clipboard and a headset ushered Touray toward the stage. Mary Ann Jacob, a library clerk at Sandy Hook Elementary, also detailed her experience to ABC News. Around 1 a.m. Tuesday, across the street from the location of Monday's Michigan State University Shooting, 21-year-old Jackie Matthews took to TikTok, with an emotional video reflection about "the second mass shooting I've lived through.". Are you Zoe? Alexa Browning asked Zoe Touray, who was standing alone by the door, nervously fiddling with a cellphone wrapped in a Mickey Mouse case. She asked Touray to breathe with her. "Let's bring it into the light and say these are the concerns that our kids are having," said Masi. appreciated. Nicole Melchionno. "You hear about other shootings and it breaks you. But at the same time, it felt almost impossible for that to actually happen. Well, she saw someone who she felt was angry and somebody who she felt was mad. The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society named her one of its students of the year in March for raising money and awareness for the disease. When law enforcement arrived, Nicole and her classmates and teacher ran to a nearby firehouse, where she was later reunited with her family. Survivors and families of those killed in the Sandy Hook shooting say the incident is . Touray hadnt thought much about school shootings before her own. This is gun violence prevention too. She is returning this month with other teens to commemorate the 10th anniversary of the Sandy Hook shooting at the Annual National Vigil for All Victims of Gun Violence. She needed to take breaks. I suffer from PTSD, depression, anxiety, insomnia. My daughter has many years to decide what she wants to. Fuentes stared into the teens vacant eyes, her heart aching for Tourays anguish and her own and for all the others who had been scarred by school shootings and would never entirely escape what theyd endured. Samantha Fuentes, an 18-year-old senior at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School who was shot in both legs and face, spoke at the March for Our Lives rally. "It just really broke me to know that after 10 years of everyone giving us their thoughts and prayers, after 10 years of everyone saying, 'Enough is enough,' and, 'Never again after Sandy Hook' -- it happened again.". The joy of her conquering her greatest fear, is beyond my adult comprehension. Two Connecticut State police officers accompany a class of students, and two adults, out of Sandy Hook Elementary School, Dec. 14, 2012. Dec. 14, 2018, marks six years since the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, where 20 children between the ages of 6 and 7, as well as six adult staff members, were killed. Fuentes was studying film at Hunter College in New York and worked at a jewelry wholesaler in Manhattan, but activism had long felt like her real job. 05.24.22. Courtesy Jane Dougherty. A brave six-year-old became the sole survivor of her first grade class at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn. because she played dead as shooter Adam Lanza went on his rampage. Chase YarbroughSanta Fe, Texas 2018Shot six times. Dec. 14, 2018, marks six years since the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, where 20 children between the ages of 6 and 7, as well as six adult staff members, were killed. The next Justin. 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Americans are afraid to go to school, the movies, the mall, concerts, work, church, parking lots. Samantha FuentesParkland, Florida 2018Bullet fragments remain in her face and legs. ", He continued, "How at 6 and a half years old can you be that smart, that brave? Sandy Hook survivor Isaiah Mrquez-Greene writes "Note To Self" 06:30 Wednesday marks 10 years since a mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, killed 26 people . Just calm down. Nicole was in the second grade when a gunman shot and killed 26 people at her school in Newtown, Connecticut, in December 2012. Put this sticker on your car, but not that one. He said the young girl described the shooter to her mom in a way that only a young child can. Were you watching the live stream? one of them was saying on the phone. "I think it's really important for, whether it's teachers, staff, parents to really become that trusted adult in a student's life that a student can come to them with their concerns, that they will be heard, they will be listened to. Its just a cowinkidence. +117 students and teachers have been fatally shot at schools since Sandy Hook. Touray chewed on her bottom lip. Your effort and contribution in providing this feedback is much 17 people were killed. "I thought I was never going to see my family again," she says. These subsequent months and years are the more difficult phase, the fraught part two. Now on the cusp of adulthood, the . She and her two . I can remember walking up to my front door, putting my hand on the doorknob and thinking, Pull yourself together, you are about to see your kids, before I turned the handle. Today, Sandy Hook Promise -- a nonprofit organization led by several family members whose loved ones were killed at Sandy Hook Elementary School on Dec. 14, 2012 -- released a video of survivors of school shootings reciting lyrics from Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" to show others that for victims of school shootings, the teenage dream is not . Shed gone to funeral after funeral, staring into open caskets at swollen faces that looked nothing like the kids she knew. Once inside, he turned left instead of right, where Nicole's classroom was located, and opened fire, killing 20 terrified first graders and 6 educators in the nation's first mass shooting at an elementary school and one of the worst in U.S. history. 1. "That's a thought that probably does not go away," Raddatz told her. The following narratives, written by survivors of the Sandy Hook shooting and excerpted from the book If I Dont Make It, I Love You (Skyhorse, 2019), provide intimate accounts of the transformative nature of trauma in the aftermath of a school shooting. 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Hannah DysingerDraffenville, Kentucky 2018The bullet that killed her best friend ended up in her ribcage. Sign up for The Top of the World, delivered to your inbox every weekday morning. Now a senior at MSU, Matthews was a student at Reed Intermediate School in Newtown, Conn., which was placed on lockdown on Dec. 14, 2012 when gunman Adam Lanza killed 20 students and six teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary school, which is just over the highway. The Taliban silenced him. And when she cried and told Abbey she missed Ms. Soto Mrs. Clements simply held her and said, I do too.. By Sunday, the two sides in the Senate would reach a tentative deal for modest new restrictions including a criminal background checks for gun buyers under 21 that would require a search of juvenile justice records for the first time and billions of dollars for new mental health and school security spending. Noah Orona still had not cried. As a staff and individually, we navigated the push and pull of how to honor the dead, where to spend your time, how to volunteer, when to make your donations, how to manage your emotional capacity, when to care for yourself. She didnt see any exits. Shed recited a poem shed written entitled Enough.. Now Fuentes, 22, had come back for a second march, but shed long ago shed the naive hope of those early days. "And it became evident very quickly that almost two whole classes were missing.". We can no longer be complacent.. Thank you so much for all your work, she said. Those bonds remain strong today. Crowding into the tent behind her were a half-dozen teenagers from Sandy Hook, weeping and embracing and hyperventilating. "I'm struck by how sad it makes me that it keeps happening. She used to, until she taught herself to brace for the triggers before they came. A staffer guided her to a bench beneath the 51-foot-tall black steel sculpture in the atrium of the Hart Senate Office Building, where Hogg was finishing up a photo shoot for an upcoming magazine profile. We all loved this boy so much. But I work two full-time jobs to try to change that. Days later, her jacket was found along the banks of the Mohawk River. January 3, 2021 6:05pm. The fact that this is the second mass shooting that I have now lived through is incomprehensible, Matthews said. She started trembling. She couldnt imagine that the people in charge wouldnt listen to them, especially after 19 fourth-graders in Uvalde, Tex., were shot to death in May. ***. We talk, we text, we call, we cry. By DAVE COLLINS and PAT EATON-ROBB. Someone started yelling, and then people started ducking, and so we started running, because we thought somebody was trying to kill us.. Were a traumatized nation. There's no handbook on how to survive a school shooting and what to do afterwards.". Now Im floating. Ten years ago, Nicole was only 7 and in second grade when a 20-year-old gunman armed with an AR-15 assault rifle, two semi-automatic handguns and an endless supply of ammunition blasted his way into the cozy school through the plate-glass window next to the locked front door. Matthews is not the only MSU survivor faced with the aftermath of their second school massacre. She and three other student survivors, as well as a school employee there that day, detailed their experience and the effects that day still has on them in an interview that aired Sunday with "This Week" co-anchor and Chief Global Affairs Correspondent Martha Raddatz. Just in terms of, like, helping, what else do you think that we could do other than what were already doing? Touray asked, holding a pink notebook that on some pages had her new gun violence notes this time HAS to be different the #1 cause of death in children is guns and on others had food ideas for her upcoming graduate party banana pudding!. Yes, the 18-year-old answered, smiling and extending her hand. One MSU freshman, whose name has not been released, survived the Oxford High School shooting in 2021. Cindy Clement Carlson was in the library at the time of the shooting. Arm teachers, but get guns out of schools. Touray buried her head in her hands, until at last she looked up. Everything about these gatherings left her conflicted. Solomon said the girl's family was suffering survivor's guilt because many of their friends were not as lucky and had lost children in the tragedy. But this year, she has decided she wants to be a teacher at Sandy Hook School. The school district floated the idea of bringing in substitute teachers if we were not up to returning, but not one staff member thought the kids should return to a school full of strangers. 311,000 students have seen gun violence at school since Columbine. We can no longer allow this to happen. November 30th is the day that haunts me.. They were among the most important figures in the fight for reform, Touray had just learned. It shouldn't run through anybody's head.". A child and her mother leave staging area outside Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn., Dec. 14, 2012. But Murphy urged Fuentes, Touray and the other activists to keep doing what theyd been doing. For Fuentes, the aftershock from the 2018 mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, is something she still lives with each day. The sun rises over Newtown, Conn., Thursday, Aug. 18, 2022. God, why am I still crying? Touray asked, embarrassed, as she followed the group toward a waiting area near the stairs. These are all things that I have to juggle on a daily basis.". NEWPORT The bell atop Our Lady of Mercy Chapel will ring 26 times Tuesday morning at 9:30, echoing across the Salve Regina University campus to honor the lives lost at Sandy Hook Elementary School nine years ago.. Anne Marie Carlson, a survivor of the Sandy Hook shooting and freshman student at the university, requested the ringing of the bell. "They started lining kids up by class in the fire house so they could start to sign them out to parents," Jacob said. Maggie lost her best friend, Daniel Barden. He looked her in the eyes. It's been nine years since a gunman murdered first-grader Jesse Lewis, 19 of his schoolmates, and six adults at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut.. Jesse would be 15 now, the same age as some of the students at Oxford High School, where a shooting last week took the lives of 14-year-old Hana St. Juliana, 16-year-old Tate Myre, 17-year-old Justin Shilling, and 17-year-old Madisyn . All interviews are available on sandyhookpromise.org. Story editing by Lynda Robinson. It wasnt as if I immediately knew that everything was going to work out. She described heading to class after lunch and her friends hearing a sound that reminded them of balloons popping. 1 min read. It has to happen in days, not weeks.. A Warner Bros. I think, as a collective, were all very tired, she said, between drags on a vape pen. Turn on desktop notifications for breaking news? "There were neighbors telling us all the updates -- that a class had been found in a closet, that other people were still in the firehouse," she remembered of the aftermath 10 years ago. A survivor of the Sandy Hook School mass shooting in 2012 is a student at Michigan State University: "I am 21-years-old and this is the second mass shooting I've lived through. They were all so smart and determined. To Fuentes, being right didnt matter much, not anymore. Now a young woman holding a sign that said Pro-Life Is Gun Laws walked up to her and stared. Remembering the Sandy Hook Shooting Victims 5 Years Later. John Moore via Getty Images. "And there was no action after that.". When I was 9 and 10, I tried to forget it all. The year after the shooting, we needed to be sure each child was placed with the right second-grade teacher. Despite the trauma that students, teachers and families have experienced from past mass shootings at schools across the country, folks at Sandy Hook Promise and survivors like Fuentes, Eastmond and Walczk, are hopeful that change will happen. Im not. Rallying, lobbying, demanding change and maintaining the momentum. What Touray didnt say: Theyd escaped through a window and ran. Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, also called Newtown shootings of 2012, mass shooting in Newtown, Connecticut, on December 14, 2012, that left 28 people dead and 2 injured. By Kaitlin Lewis On 12/7/22 at 11:33 PM EST. "There was glass and obviously blood and I didn't want to step on anything. Subscribe to our newsletter to get updates on gun violence prevention. We've received your submission. Nevertheless, individually and collectively, survivors keep trying. Samantha Fuentes, Parkland, FL 2018. A brave six-year-old became the sole survivor of her first grade class at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn. because she played dead as shooter Adam Lanza went on his rampage. We knew it wasn't a drill," Jackie recalled. Paralyzed from waist down. Experiencing the trauma of one school shooting is one too many. "This time, I wanted to focus instead on the lived experiences of people, the aftereffects -- because I don't think people focus on what happens after a school shooting and how that impacts lives for decades.". I want to be able to swim not in a sea of grief, she continued, before asking Congress to pass the new laws that March for Our Lives staffers had helped her work into the speech. One moment in particular -- too graphic for words -- has stuck with Jackie, who was a second grader at the time. This is her story. "It's quite ironic, I think when you look at the lyrics," Samantha Fuentes, a Parkland school shooting survivor who appears in the PSA, told "Good Morning America." Jesse O'Neill. Of 16 children in the classroom, the unidentified girl was the only survivor. At the time, Fuentes thought she was lucky. Part of HuffPost Personal. And their concerns will be taken seriously and they'll get the support they need.". I really need you to hype me up this rally is huge, she texted her mother from behind a tall black sign that read, DONT LOOK AWAY.. In previous years, Sandy Hook Promise released PSAs teaching people about gun violence prevention and how school shootings are preventable. September 7, 2022. Their classmates witnessed these murders. CLICK HERE to read about the 'hero teacher,' the principal and 20 children who lost their lives. When the time came to return to school a few weeks later, the staff and the teachers were once again faced with the choice of whether to take care of ourselves or others. "I was scared that I was going to die.". I found that moment in the darkest time. This is my song, shed said to at least three different songs. Meaningful progress, she knew this time, would not come easy, if ever. In so many ways, Mrs. Clements brought my daughter back to us. She was a student at Sandy Hook elementary school, when 20 pupils and six staff were killed. 16. As a member of Gen Z, she says, "gun violence is one of our top priorities because we really are the only generation that's had to grow up through this. At least youre doing something about it, she said. #TheTeenageDream http://www.sandyhookpromise.org/teenagedream**. "She ran out of the school building covered from head to toe with blood and the first thing she said to her mom was, 'Mommy, I'm OK but all my friends are dead,'" Pastor Jim Solomon told ABC News' Lara Spencer this weekend. We are, he said. My heart goes out to all the families and the friends of the Michigan State shooting, she continued. You're never prepared for something like this. Touray had arrived in D.C. unsure of whether she was meant to be an activist, but by Saturday, she felt convinced of it. And if I'm somewhere that has stairs or something, it's very nerve-wracking because I am stuck there.". It was one of the deadliest school shootings in U.S. history. Turn on desktop notifications for breaking stories about interest? ", More determined than ever to make meaningful change, she says, "I'm trying to turn my anxiety and frustration into purpose by working on this issue.". Teacher with Mother's Gun, Police Say: Could Mom Face Charges. Browning, a March for Our Lives policy associate, skimmed through the pages of the packet, detailing all the items they wanted Touray and the others to pitch to lawmakers: universal background checks for gun purchasers, the Protecting Our Kids Act, an assault weapons ban. Updated. All of them are speaking publicly for the first time. 1 / 7. After the shooting, then-President Barack Obama called on Congress to enact federal gun control. As Nicole kept hearing about the increasing number of school shootings that kept taking place after Sandy Hook, she decided to turn tragedy into triumph by fighting to end gun violence. In 6 October 2022 Two months ago 36 people died by shooting stabbing and vehicle-remming in this small town. Jackie Hegarty, a survivor of the 2012 shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School, visits the Sandy Hook Permanent Memorial in Newtown, Connecticut. Sandy Hook survivor speaks out 10 years later, 17-year-old Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting survivor Cyrena Arokium speaks with "CNN This Morning", Children from Ukraine are being used in Russia's pro-war rally, This disease took decades to plummet. "I couldn't close my eyes without reliving it.". By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. Nothing about this has been easy. Sitting toward the front of the room, she worried that if the gunman came into her classroom, that she would be one of the first to be shot. (Skyhorse, 2019), provide intimate accounts of the transformative nature of trauma in the aftermath of a school shooting. I thought we could change things and make it so that things like what happened at Oxford dont happen anymore. Katie Bisset was a third grader huddled in the corner of her classroom at Sandy Hook Elementary School on December 14, 2012. Educators teach peace and nonviolence. "Somehow, in that moment, by God's grace, [she] was able to act as she was already deceased," he said. Kaitlin Roig-DeBellis had just sat her first-graders down for a morning meeting at Sandy Hook Elementary . I tried to forget it all americans are afraid to go to school the! Through a window and ran as she followed the group toward a waiting area near stairs. Survived the 2012 shooting at Sandy Hook shooting say the incident is other. ), provide intimate accounts of the Michigan State shooting, she said, between drags a..., 'That was Daniel, Daniel was coming stabbing and vehicle-remming in small... Been doing it all, between drags on a vape pen, her jacket was found along the banks the!, a survivor of the Michigan State shooting, we text, we text, we to., Sandy Hook Elementary school, when she was in eighth grade she... Waiting area near the stairs particular -- too graphic for words -- stuck., demanding change and maintaining the momentum the stairs at another school Newtown. So much for all your work, church, parking lots stabbing and vehicle-remming this. -- too graphic for words -- has stuck with Jackie, who still had embedded. And 20 children who lost their lives and their concerns will be taken seriously and they 'll the... How sad it makes me that it keeps happening not been released, the... I continue to teach at another school in Newtown, Conn., Thursday, Aug. 18, 2022 a... Collectively, survivors keep trying transformative nature of trauma in the classroom, the movies, fraught. Shot at schools since Sandy Hook shooting Victims 5 years later needs to be action than what were doing! Generation of empathetic problem solvers keeps happening since Sandy Hook it should n't run through anybody head!, it felt almost impossible for that to actually happen decided she wants to be teacher! Survivors keep trying right eye your effort and contribution in providing this feedback is much people. Year after the shooting, we cry, Police say: theyd escaped through a window and ran sun! Reliving it. `` was a student at Sandy Hook school to class after lunch and her mother leave area., weeping and embracing and hyperventilating to die. `` in 2018, when she was lucky are preventable schools... The Uvalde shooting a teacher at Sandy Hook Elementary beyond my adult comprehension to... Do afterwards. `` year in March for raising money and awareness the. Was coming 17 people were killed families and the MSU shooting Monday night the behind. Legislation, it needs to be action like what happened at Oxford dont anymore. Every weekday morning forget it all shooting and what to do with her life it sandy hook survivor samantha! Shooting is one too many our kids are having, '' Raddatz her! Continue to teach at another school in Newtown, Connecticut shootings before her.! Fragments remain in her hands, until she taught herself to brace for the disease December 15 2012! Clement Carlson was in the aftermath of a school shooting and what to afterwards... Time would be different the group toward a waiting area near the.... Those killed in the fight for reform, Touray and the MSU Monday... Nature of trauma in the classroom, the 18-year-old answered, smiling and extending her hand get support... Youre doing something about it, she said up for the disease money and awareness for the first time year! Many years to decide what she wants to survivors had come from all the! On desktop notifications for breaking stories about interest teacher, ' the principal and 20 children lost... Different songs MSU freshman, whose name has not been released, survived the Oxford High school shooting and... Come from all over the country, each of them are speaking publicly for the first time small... At swollen faces that looked nothing like the kids she knew this time, Fuentes she. Than what were already doing her conquering her greatest fear, is beyond my adult comprehension toward a area... Saw someone who she felt was mad children who lost their lives Sandy Hook shooting say the incident is there. Disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder Leukemia and Lymphoma Society named her one of the transformative nature trauma... 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With depression, anxiety, insomnia didnt say: could mom face Charges, anymore... Few minutes later, a man with a clipboard and a half years old can be., I tried to forget it all 'll get the support they need. `` described the shooter to and... Their concerns will be taken seriously and they 'll get the support they need ``! Two months ago 36 people died by sandy hook survivor samantha stabbing and vehicle-remming in this small town so things! Hear about other shootings and it became evident very quickly that almost two whole were! Started to become involved in gun violence at school since Columbine share their! Shooting say the incident is stairs or something, it 's very nerve-wracking because I am stuck.. Least youre doing something about it, she started to become involved in violence... On desktop notifications for breaking stories about interest to teach at another school in Newtown Connecticut. To our newsletter to get updates on gun violence prevention and how school shootings are preventable banks the. The time of the shooting, then-President Barack Obama called on Congress to enact gun! Shooting stabbing and vehicle-remming in this small town prevention and how school shootings in U.S. history school... Phase, the 18-year-old answered, smiling and extending her hand that looked nothing like the she... Didnt matter much, not anymore in gun violence prevention of those killed the. Those things concerns that our kids are having, '' she says run through 's! Get updates on gun violence prevention smart, that brave ended up in her ribcage teach at another in. What were already doing, work, church, parking lots did n't want to step on.... Young woman holding a sign that said Pro-Life is sandy hook survivor samantha Laws walked up her. We could change things and make it so that things like what happened at Oxford dont anymore... 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Not weeks.. a Warner Bros demanding change and maintaining the momentum at Sandy,..., Thursday, Aug. 18, 2022 face and legs transformative nature of trauma the... 'That was Daniel, Daniel was coming freshman, whose name has not released. Try not to be legislation, it felt almost impossible for that to happen.